Crackpot Theory: The Infinite North Korea Theorum

As I'm sure most of the free world is aware, North Korea is an interesting place. It's pretty poor, technologically lagging, full of Stalinistic policies so Stalinistic Stalin himself would demand freedom, and its run by an inarguably eccentric man-child. In the 50s, Korea had a big political split that to this day hasn't been mended, necessitating the "North" in its name.

 Despite repeatedly insisting it wants to destroy us all and become the dominant species, most of us sensible nations are content to pat its cute little head and reply "Of course you will, dearie," every time it threatens Armageddon so that we can focus our attentions on countries with more oil.

Like those. Those'll do very nicely.

It was while pondering this, the existence of an ongoing space war between humanity and a bunch of long game playing space, and the presence of surface to space planetary railgun in our backyard that I and my good friend Gamma One came to one, obvious, undeniably fact.

Our planet is the North Korea of the galaxy. 

While you pick your jaws up from the floor, I will elaborate. As previously stated, North Korea is pretty poor, comparatively speaking. A lot of people within its borders seem to be going hungry, or so I'm told from the Grade A journalism that is The Interview. In the past people have attempted to alleviate this by doing what people always do, send in aid. Unfortunately, North Korea is pretty notorious about not being so gracious with accepting aid.

This seems, at least to me, to be a pretty foolish position to take, up there with shooting yourself in the stomach and then punching anyone who offers to stop you from bleeding to death. But hey, to each their own, right? Because now, I want you to picture this:

A galaxy full of space faring, interplanetary traveling, alien civilizations. Some civilizations are bit better off than others, there are a few unstable military regimes and downright horrible places to live. And then, in that one corner of the galaxy, is that planet. 

You know the one I'm talking about. So woefully behind in technology they've only occasional been to their own moon. Full of starving people, poor as poor can be, and incredibly hostile to outside cultures. You've heard rumors of people who visit the planet being locked up in government facilities, never to be heard from again because they're being interrogated and tortured and experimented on. The governing bodies run by eccentric man children. In the 50s, it had a big political split it still hasn't mended. 

The government of the planet insists it is capable of going to war with the rest of the galactic superpowers, and puts out streams of propoganda attesting to this that also paints outside cultures as hostile forces out to destroy them and their way of life.

Luckily, these days, most of the galactic community is content to ignore this backward bizarro world, patting its cute little blue head and saying "Of course you can, dearie" every time it threatens War of the Worlds so that it can focus on planets with more magic space elements.

Like this one. This'll do very nicely.

Some planets do try to send in aid to the poor, starving people of Earth, but the local government is pretty bad about accepting aid from outside civilizations, so- you see where I'm going with this.

For all the looking down on North Korea we here on planet Earth do, there is a proportionately equal amount of looking down on Earth being done here in the Milky Way. And it doesn't stop there, for it also follows that just as the Milky Way looks down on Earth, so does the local galaxy cluster look down on the Milky Way. And just as the local galaxy cluster looks down on the Milky Way, so too does the universe look down on our local galaxycluster. And just as the universe looks down on our local galaxy cluster, so too does the multiverse look down on our universe!

Best of luck with coming to terms with that.

003 out.